After just buying my own train tickets home for this weekend, I’m wishing I could have used the same tactics as Mickey the ferret did this week. Mickey managed to make his way from London to Edinburgh on a public train without being noticed, bagging himself a free ride until he was spotted by staff at Haymarket.
Life would be so much easier if you could just hop on a train, not grumbling about how much you’ve paid to kick someone out of your reserved seat even though the train’s not bleedin’ left Kings Cross yet. Everyone would be happier, glad to be there, more polite…Come to think of it, there are plenty of things we could do to make trains more fun. Mickey obviously thought they were already! If we got rid of First Class and replaced it with a roller disco, I bet ticket sales would go through the roof.
Trains already smell a bit ferrety, maybe that’s why Mickey enjoyed it so much, and there’s nothing commuters love more than a freshly stained seat. Is it yogurt? Melted chocolate? Please God let it be breadcrumbs…
East Coast could benefit from having those little televisions planes have on the back of the seats and instead of an extortionately priced buffet cart, how about a Yo Sushi! That would get rid of the wet cat smell at least. A karaoke coach would make sure those annoyingly loud hen parties/football teams/exchange student groups are kept together in one crazy ball of excitement, and a zen coach with chair massage therapists would make sure passengers feel relaxed after forking out for a last minute fare (if they have any knuckles left).
I think Mickey enjoyed his free journey to the other end of the country, he probably got a sneaky sandwich out of it too, but I hope he pays ferret next time…*groan*.
This post is part of the 30 Day Blogging Challenge.